I've Got a Dark Alley and a Bad Idea
by siskysbusiness
Summary: In which the guys go camping, but... they're not as skilled as they originally thought. For BTR Plot Adoption Forum's Summer Vacation Challenge!


_**author's note- hi! this is for the BTR Plot Adoption Forum's summer vacation challenge. thank you to those that messaged me about this challenge, i'm so happy to be a part of it! it's 4 AM as i'm typing this so, lord, i don't know what i'm saying, but this is kind of a kogan fic? at this point idk. i've never written kogan before, i hope i did it some justice LOL. it's all platonic tho. and very fluffy. there's also some jarlos... if you squint. anyways. thank you for reading! feel free to leave a review! they're very appreciated. xoxo.  
**_

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All four members of Big Time Rush were currently sitting in one of Gustavo's many cars that they had "borrowed," just for their weekend trip.

In other words, they stole their boss's Cadillac Escalade.

Kendall initiated the plan, in which Carlos and James were down for, but, as always, Logan was too afraid to even be involved in this. He was sure all four of them would be killed when the weekend was over.

The brunette stared in awe at the map he held, clenched in his hands. "We shouldn't be doing this." Logan proceeded to announce, maybe just a bit too late. Kendall drove in silence, concentrated on the road while the two other jokesters sat in the backseat giggling up a storm as they played a game of "I Spy," or something. Logan couldn't really tell, he was too busy freaking out.

"It's too late to undo what's already been done, Logan," the blonde spoke up before tossing a wrapped granola bar in the smart one's direction. Logan frowned, slumping down in the passenger's seat. He resorted to opening the peanut butter chocolate granola bar in defeat. "Gustavo's gonna kill us, dude."

"No, he won't." Kendall shook his head, gripping onto the steering wheel. He wasn't nervous at all- in fact, he was quite the opposite. "We've done worse."

"What about your mom?" "...What about her?" "Did you even tell her about this? She's gonna freak once she figures that we're in the middle of the woods!"

"Oh, trust me, she freaked out at first. I had to make her put a GPS locator on me to convince her to let us go," the younger one chuckled. He was certainly used to his mother being overprotective. "We just have to worry about the wrath of Gustavo." But that wasn't anything new. Their stocky manager would just blow up at them for a while and forget about it after twenty-four hours.

Logan sighed, deciding to not argue as he looked at the map. His seat was suddenly kicked forward by an impatient Carlos behind him. "I'm hungry!" the boy whined.

The brunette in the front seat rolled his eyes before reaching over for the box of variety granola bars next to Kendall and threw it behind him.

"Ha, mine!" James shouted as he caught the box. "HEY!" The two loudly wrestled for the box, leaving Logan immensely irritated in his shaky passenger seat while the blonde just chuckled and shook his head. "They're actual children."

"Yeah," Logan rolled his eyes after laughing a bit. "You can say that again."

Kendall turned around momentarily looking at the two boys. "Hey! Settle down and share! We're about to arrive at the campsite."

Carlos and James glared at each other pouting. The younger brunette handed the other the box, blowing a raspberry at him. Those two could definitely get antsy during long car trips. Four-year-olds had better patience than the two of them combined.

In two minutes tops, the boys were officially at the campsite.

They pulled into the gated entrance, letting Kendall speak to one of the park rangers so he could pay the fee for parking. Afterwards, he found a nice place in the shade to leave the car parked.

Carlos was the first one out of the car, eagerly running towards the woods until Logan reminded him that they had to take the supplies with them.

"Ugh! Why'd we have to bring so much stuff?" Carlos groaned as he took out his backpack from the trunk. "So we can survive. Duh," James scoffed, rolling his eyes while he adjusted his camping backpack, which was filled with maybe way too much hair product.

"Yeah. You don't wanna get eaten by bears, do you?" Kendall joked, closing the trunk. "I guess not," the short brunette shrugged causing James to raise an eyebrow.

"Wait... there are no bears in California, right?"

"..."

"Logan? Kendall?"

The mentioned two looked at each other then looked back at the pretty boy.

"Uh. Yeah. About that," Logan began.

"Oh my god. We are going to die."

"How did you not know there were bears in California?!" the blonde asked, bewildered.

"The state flag even has a bear on it!" Carlos chimed into the conversation. "I'm not smart and even I noticed that!"

"You're acting like I pay attention to what state flags look like! I failed high school social studies, you guys know that!" James crossed his arms.

The smart boy rolled his eyes, looking down at the map. "Relax! We are not going to get mauled by a bear. They usually roam deep within the woods. We're going at least half a mile in. And besides, there are park rangers guarding over here. So relax." he said, specifically looking at James.

The taller brunette sighed before reluctantly nodding. Kendall patted the taller one on the back as a sign of reassurance and grinned. "Alright! Let's venture out, boys!" he excitedly announced.

Logan led the group of boys onto the trail while looking at the map. "In a few minutes, we should be able to find a nice place to set up our stuff," he said, looking around the area.

It was late in the afternoon. The trees were large as usual, letting a vast amount of sunlight into their surroundings. These woods were quite peaceful. Logan was glad that he and Kendall were able to find an appreciable camp location like this.

A few minutes had passed and the boys came up upon the creek.

"Woah," Carlos awed in sight of the water. "Can we go swimming here?" he asked with a grin on his face.

James scoffed. "It's no Palm Woods pool, but I guess it'll do."

The blonde rolled his eyes at the materialistic pretty boy. "Oh, shut up James. Enjoy mother nature for once. You should be happy that there aren't girls running up to you at you right now."

James shrugged. "I guess so. Do we have to drink this water, though?" he asked, eyes widening.

Logan shook his head. "No. I brought water bottles for you guys, but even if we did have to drink it, it doesn't look that dirty. We'd just have to boil it to make sure it's clear of any diseases, though," he stated, observing the water.

Kendall looked around. "This looks like a nice place to set out stuff down. What do you think?"

Logan checked the environment. There was a patch of clear space in the dirt that would be good to have a campfire or something. They were in an area with lots of dirt and grass, so that was helpful. "Sure," the smart boy nodded.

Minutes later, the boys decided on where they should put their tents.

Logan and Kendall were in the middle of building the blonde's and reading the instructions until they heard an "Uh oh," behind them.

The blonde sighed and turned around. "What's the problem?" Carlos was giggling at the taller brunette and going through his own supplies. "James didn't bring a tent with him. He was too focused on deciding which hair products to bring."

There was a grimace on Logan's face. "James, are you serious?" he asked.

"Sorry! I thought I brought it with me!" the tall boy was clearly upset. "And if I'm gonna die here, I should at least look good, right?" he asked, causing the other three boys to groan.

"Well, I'm not sharing a tent with you. You take up too much space." Carlos stated. "Hey!" James frowned.

But it was true. James was definitely a bed hog. His own sleeping bag probably won't be able to contain him tonight.

Kendall shook his head. "I'm not sharing a tent with you either dude."

Logan sighed. He definitely didn't want to share a tent with James, but he didn't want to be rude about his. Though James is the biggest idiot alive, he didn't deserve to not have a tent.

An idea came into the genius's head.

"James, you can have my tent," Logan stated, glancing at Kendall. "Kendall, can I share a tent with you tonight?" The blonde nodded in response. "Definitely. Better than sharing with James," he shrugged.

The pretty boy laughed. "I'm not that bad! Thank you, Logan," he smiled. Logan chuckled. "No problem man. Maybe your hair products will be useful in killing mosquitos, or something." "See! I told you I wasn't stupid for bringing hair spray! Maybe my Cuda will help too. You guys are so lucky I'm here!" James exclaimed, glaring at Carlos who just shook his head.

Setting up the three tents took about half an hour for the boys. Carlos's tent looked a little janky, but he was extremely content with it, nevertheless.

"Can we go swimming now?" Carlos whined impatiently, ready to take off his shoes.

The other boys looked at each other and laughed, before nodding. That boy was just way too impatient.

The short brunette was thrilled and stripped down to a pair of shorts in what felt like two seconds. Kendall, James, and Logan did the same, setting their clothes in a safe dry place. Logan also set out a few towels they could use to dry off later.

Carlos was obviously the first person to go into the creek. The water was especially chilly and sent shivers up the boy's spine. "It's cold in here, guys!" he called out to the boys.

James was the second one in, and boy was Carlos right.

Logan and Kendall went in the water together and Logan shivered. "It's not that cold," Kendall teased, swimming around. Logan frowned and stayed in his spot, getting used to the water.

"Is it too cold for you, Logie?" Kendall continued to tease, swimming over to the brunette. Logan glared at the boy in annoyance. He absolutely dreaded that nickname. "Yes. Give me a minute to warm up," he muttered.

The blonde wrapped his arms around Logan unexpectedly, causing the shorter one's face to heat up. "Body warmth will help with that!" Kendall smiled, hanging onto the older one.

After a few minutes of Kendall holding onto Logan, he was finally comfortable in the water and swam around with the others.

James and Carlos were having a race, seeing who was the faster swimmer. James came out on top, but when Logan and Kendall joined the race, Kendall surprisingly beat him out.

The blonde suggested that they should play chicken fight. He and Carlos teamed up, while James and Logan were the other team. Logan climbed up on Carlos's back, with Kendall climbing on James.

"Uh. This isn't safe at all. There are so many rocks around," Logan observed, hanging onto Carlos's neck.

"Relax, we'll be fine. You just gotta hope that you don't fall," Kendall evilly smirked, causing Logan to frown. "Oh, you're on!"

Carlos and James counted down the fight to one, and Kendall and Logan kept trying to slap each other.

"You got this, Logan!" Carlos cheered from underneath. James glared at Carlos before shouting "C'mon, Kendall!"

The blonde reached out to grab Logan's arm, succeeding in doing so. Logan fell over on impact, bringing Carlos down into the water with him.

James and Kendall cheered, high fiving each other as Kendall stayed on top of the brunette.

Logan climbed back up onto Carlos, preparing for round two. After the countdown, Logan went in and tried to grab onto Kendall.

They kept attacking and dodging each other for a while and the other boys at the bottom desperately hung onto their partners, yelling out words of assurance.

After a few minutes of fighting, both of the boys accidentally dragged each other down and everyone ended up falling into the water.

"Oh, Kendall totally dragged him down first!" James yelled out, wiping his wet hair away from his eyes. Carlos shook his head. "No! Logan won that round!"

Logan glanced at Kendall, pointing towards Carlos. "Yeah! What Carlos said," the smart one exclaimed, sticking his tongue out. "No! We totally won that one!" Kendall frowned.

The boys bickered on for a good five minutes before deciding to call it a tie. They went in for a few more rounds of chicken fight before ultimately declaring Carlos and Kendall as the winners.

After that game, they ended up swimming around more, occasionally splashing each other and having splash fights.

On an impulse decision, Carlos climbed out of the creek and backed up a couple of feet, running and doing a cannonball into the cold water. James and Kendall whooped and cheered for the boy as he did it, while Logan anxiously watched.

When Carlos swam back up to the surface he was panting. "OW!" he yelled, grabbing the attention of the other three boys.

"What happened, man?" Kendall questioned, swimming over in concern with James. Logan sighed and crawled out of the water. "I knew you shouldn't have done that!" he scolded, grabbing his handy-dandy first aid kit.

James and Kendall helped the smaller brunette out of the water, being careful with his right leg. There was a giant gash on it, blood was dripping everywhere. He most likely cut it by landing on a rock.

Logan kneeled down, observing the injury. "Christ, Carlos, that's almost deep enough for you to get stitches!" he exclaimed, pouring hydrogen peroxide onto a cotton ball to clean the cut. "It hurts," the brunette whined.

"Pfft, it's not that deep," James said, patting his injured friend on the back. "You're gonna be okay, right? Like you always are, man!" the pretty brunette grinned at his friend.

Carlos smiled back at him and looked at Logan. "Yeah, man! I'm gonna be fine!"

Logan rolled his eyes, wiping away the rest of the blood and wrapped his leg in a bandage. "You need to be more careful. No more swimming guys,"

"Aw, come on!" James frowned.

Kendall stood up and put his t-shirt back on. "Logan's right," the blonde agreed. "The sun is setting. We need to make dinner."

Logan put everything back into his first aid kit and James helped Carlos stand up and dry off with a towel.

The four teens walked back to their area and put on their pajamas before dinner.

"Uh... we're not killing any animals for dinner with our own hands, right?" James questioned, sitting on a log next to Carlos.

If there was one thing the boys agreed on, it was not to kill any animals on this camping trip. They were too nice to cause any harm to an animal, whether it was a fly or a fish. Considering last time they tried to go fishing, James almost broke down into tears when he realized fishing also meant killing the fish.

"No," Kendall shook his head. "We brought uh, packaged steaks. And some baked beans."

They were almost going to make dinner with steak and Cheetos until Logan called out how unhealthy that was at the grocery store. So they traded the Cheetos for Bush's Homestyle Baked Beans. Where would they be without Logan?

The blonde spent nearly fifteen minutes trying to make a fire with many sticks and rocks. The other three boys watched in boredom before trying it themselves. That is, until, Logan recalled bringing a couple of matches, leading Kendall to respond with "You could've told us that earlier man! I just wasted all of my strength!"

Before they knew it, they had a bonfire going for them. It was on top of a big pile of sticks, and some paper, enclosed by a group of rocks.

The boys all attentively watched as Kendall cooked the steak using a pan and spatula that they brought from their apartment. He thoroughly cooked four steaks and plopped them onto paper plates. He also ended up pouring the entire can of beans into the pan, which probably wasn't a smart idea, since it nearly overfilled to the brim.

They started to eat their dinner with their plastic utensils until they realized that their plastic knife was definitely not strong enough to cut through the meat.

"This sucks," James stated holding up his broken plastic knife. Kendall chuckled looking at Carlos who was struggling as well. The only one who didn't seem to have an issue with it was Logan, of course. He was sitting there, eating his steak properly, knife and all. "You guys just lack patience."

James rolled his eyes, ditching his knife and ate his steak with his hands. The two other boys followed in suit, with Logan watching in disgust. "Did you guys even clean your hands?"

"No, but this is how real survivors do it! Not everything has to be sanitary, right, boys?" Kendall smirked, winking at the smart one. Logan rolled his eyes as the other boys nodded in agreement.

The sun was beginning to set and the crickets began to chirp. It was extremely peaceful as the teenagers all laughed and told jokes and stories by the bonfire.

After they finished their dinner, Kendall excitedly grabbed their packs of jumbo marshmallows, chocolate bars, and graham crackers so they could do the good old tradition of making campfire smores. Carlos and James ran off, finding four moderately sized sticks they could use to roast the marshmallows, and of course, Logan was not a fan of that idea but did it anyway.

The two boys came back and sat around the fire, handing the other two boys their sticks. They enthusiastically shoved their marshmallows onto their sticks and roasted them.

Carlos was the first one to roast his marshmallow, but it ended up catching on fire, leading him to frantically blow it out. It left him with what looked like a crispy burnt piece of charcoal.

James laughed, watching the boy make his smore with the burnt marshmallow. He then roasted his own marshmallow, but unfortunately, it slipped off of the stick and fell into the unrelenting flames.

"Haha! That's payback for making fun of my marshmallow," the smaller brunette mischievously smiled, then stuck his tongue out.

Logan then roasted his marshmallow, which as expected turned out perfect. Kendall roasted his own, leaving the edges crispy.

The four teens sat by the fire, making smores until they were content. Carlos leaned back on his log and groaned. At this point, he's probably had like, seven smores. "Man. My stomach hurts." he frowned, leaning into James's shoulder.

Logan chuckled, cleaning up his mess. "Yeah, silly. That's because you ate too much," he stated, standing up and throwing his trash into a plastic bag, which he made a mental note about.

He checked the time on his wrist and picked up his sleeping back. "It's nearing ten, guys. We should get some rest," he spoke. The three other boys nodded and stood up, cleaning up their messes.

Kendall carefully put out the fire, pouring a bottle of water on it and stomping it out, just to be safe. James offered to put out the fire by peeing on it, to which Logan responded with "NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT."

After the fire was put out, Carlos and James returned to the area from doing their "business" said their goodnights before going into their own tents.

Logan turned to Kendall, holding a pillow. "Did you make sure to use the bathroom?" "Yes," Kendall chuckled. "I'm not trying to piss in the tent."

The brunette laughed, climbing into the tent with his sleeping bag. "Yeah, I'd rather you not do that. I did not give my own tent to James just to be peed on in my sleep."

Kendall laughed as he climbed in the tent after Logan and zipped it up. "It was a good choice though. At least I won't be crushed to death in here." he joked, lying down.

The two boys were facing each other, Logan staring at the blonde kind of awkwardly.

"What?" the younger one became concerned.

Logan snickered. "You have chocolate on your face"

Kendall started to chuckle. "What? Where, man? Can you get it off?"

The brunette reached over, using his thumb to wipe off the freckle of chocolate on the corner of the boy's mouth. "There. All better."

Kendall grinned. "Cool. Thanks, man, I can sleep in peace now."

"Yeah, because that sliver of chocolate could have ruined your life or something."

"Oh, shut up," Kendall laughed again and closed his eyes. "Goodnight, Logan." "Goodnight, Kendall."

The blonde drifted off to sleep, and Logan turned over on his other side, falling asleep as well.

A couple of hours had past and Logan woke up. He turned over, looking at Kendall, only to see that he was still quietly sleeping. Logan groaned and laid on his back for a moment, trying to go back to sleep.

He tried to do this for a good fifteen minutes, before giving up. He resorted to reaching down for the backpack near his feet and grabbed a book, and a flashlight. He hid under a blanket and decided to read, hoping to not wake Kendall.

About a few minutes later, Kendall's eyes suddenly fluttered open, turning his head to the right only to see Logan hiding under his sleeping bag. "Really, Logan?" he hissed. "You're reading? At three in the morning?!"

The brunette lifted his head from the sleeping bag, revealing a flashlight and a book. His eyes widened. "Did I wake you?"

The younger one shook his head and chuckled. "No. I just kind of woke up. I wanna go exploring. It's fun to roam around at night." he whispered, turning his body towards Logan.

"That's kind of dangerous," the smart one retorted. "Roaming around at night? In the woods? No thanks," he muttered, shaking his head before becoming engrossed in his book again.

Kendall rolled his eyes. "You big baby."

Now Logan was the one rolling his eyes. "If you would like to get out of the tent, we can lay outside and look at the stars. They're particularly fascinating in this part of California," he suggested.

The blonde narrowed his eyes, thinking about it. "You know what?" he grinned. "That sounds nice. Let's do that. You can show me all of the constellations and stuff!"

Logan softly smiled in response and turned off his flashlight.

Kendall was the first one to crawl out of the tent. He put on his Converse and stood, waiting for Logan to get out.

The brunette crawled out of the tent clutching onto a constellation book. The younger one glared at him and chuckled. "What?" Logan quietly questioned, raising an eyebrow. Kendall shook his head. "Nothing. You're just such a nerd. It's cute."

The older one felt his face heat up and looked down at the dirt. He turned around and grabbed a blanket, his flashlight, and a map, before walking back to Kendall.

"We're gonna have to walk a bit to find a clear place to look at the stars," Logan muttered, taking a look up at the sky. He could see some of the stars, but most of it was just covered by the leaves of towering trees.

"I think I know of a good place," Kendall said, looking up at the sky as well. "Let's go," he smiled, grabbing onto Logan's hand.

Kendall led the way, following the trail that they walked on earlier for a few minutes, before walking slightly uphill.

"What about here?" the blonde asked. Logan glanced back up at the sky. It was a perfect view. The stars were brighter than ever, and it felt as if there were a million glowing down on the two of them. "Yeah. This is perfect." the brunette grinned.

Kendall walked towards a conveniently placed picnic table, setting the blanket down on it. He crawled up and laid down, scooting over a bit. "C'mon!" he smiled, gesturing Logan to lie down next to him. Logan chuckled and got on the picnic table, lying down next to Kendall and kept his book of constellations in his lap.

"Can you point out any of the constellations from the top of your head?" Logan curiously asked the blonde. Kendall hummed, gazing into the night sky. "Is... is that the big dipper?" he asked, pointing to a random group of stars. Logan laughed in response. "No, you are so far off."

Kendall chuckled. "I don't know anything about stars, dude!" Logan smiled. "That's okay. I find them interesting. I like astronomy,"

"Is that the stuff with the horoscopes?" the blonde curiously asked. Logan laughed once again. "You're thinking of astrology. Astrology is the study of how astronomy can affect people. Though, I'm not sure if I believe in all of that stuff." Logan muttered.

"Oh. Yeah, I don't know if I believe in that stuff either."

There was a short moment of silence between the duo. The sounds of crickets chirping and wind blowing filled the air as they admired the galaxy above them.

Logan pointed a finger at the sky suddenly. "That's Orion," he said, tracing the shape of the stars with his index finger. "Orion?"

The brunette opened his book of constellations and flipped through the pages until he landed on the constellation of Orion. "Look," Logan handed the book to Kendall. The blonde glanced down at the book and back up into the sky. "Oh! I see it!" he grinned, causing Logan to grin too.

"That's the first constellation I've ever learned. My mom showed it to me when I was young..." he recalled, admiring it. "It's very easy to point out. Probably the brightest constellation out there."

Kendall nodded listening to Logan's words. He stretched an arm out around the smaller boy, who happily accepted it and rested on his shoulder.

They spent the next hour talking under the stars and cuddling, which cause Logan to blush a few times but he was grateful that his rosy cheeks were invisible in the night time. At one point the blonde yawned, causing Logan to jump.

"You okay?" Kendall drowsily mumbled, leaning into the brunette. "Yeah, I'm good," he muttered. "I think it's time we go back to the tent. You look tired. And its," Logan held his watch up to his face, "...four in the morning. We should be sleeping." "M'kay," the younger one murmured, yawning again. The two boys stood up and grabbed the blanket from the picnic table before heading back to where their tents were.

The walk was quite short, and it seemed that James and Carlos were still sound asleep in their own respective tents. Logan and Kendall toed off their own shoes and crawled back into their own tent.

Kendall squeezed back into his own sleeping bag, turning on his side to face Logan. Logan got settled in his own sleeping bag and laid down on his own pillow, lazily smiling at the blonde, earning a smile back from him.

"Night, Logie."

"Goodnight, Kendall."


End file.
